Soul Eater 4Kids style!
by namiichi
Summary: So what if Soul Eater was owned by 4Kids, it would be the best thing ever right? Wrong! This short fanfic will include the edits, the theme song, and first episode. Rated T because... I don't Know! Chapter nine is up! Review and flame away!
1. Chapter 1: Da Edits

I know this is so idiotic and plain stupid, but really this is something that my friends and I talk about at lunch. "What if Soul Eater was own by 4Kids?" This is how 4Kids would edit Soul Eater.

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First of all, the title, Soul Eater, would be replaced with, Friendship Giver, because kids would be scared of the first title.

All weapons would be replaced with magic sticks, because weapons promote violence.

Death Scythe's name would be changed back to Spirit, because Death Scythe has the word "death" in it and death is bad.

Death the Kid's name will change to Happy the Kid, because the first version mentions the word "death".

Death Scythe (Spirit) won't be a player, because it makes kids think that their father cheats on their mother.

Dr. Franken Stein will eat a lollipop instead of smoking a cigarette, because it promotes smoking, and smoking is bad.

Death the Kid (Happy the Kid) won't have OCD or be crazy about symmetry, because making fun of people with mental illness isn't nice.

All humor would be replaced with bad puns.

All of the shower/bathhouse scenes will be deleted.

Instead of Death (Happy) the Kid saying that an object is asymmetrical, he would say, "This have no friendship in it!"

All scenes with Blair in human form, besides most the first episode, would be deleted because it is too explicit for kids.

Black blood would be changed to "Black heart", because "black blood" mentions the word "blood", and we don't want to tell kids about the liquid that makes up most of their bodes.

Liz and Patty will have to wear more concealing clothes.

Black Star won't say that he is better than God, because it refers to a religious belief. Instead he would say, "I am better than I was before!"

Justin Law would be removed, because he devotes himself to a particular religion.

Arachnophobia would be deleted, because it acts like a cult.

DWMA or Shibusen would be replaced with FGO (Friendship Giver Organization).

Shinigami-sama and Death (Happy) the Kid's species/race would be changed to Agape, the Greek word for undying love.

Tsubaki's name would be changed to Misty, because little kids can't pronounce Japanese.

There won't be any discrimination against Black Star's clan, because discrimination is bad.

Crona won't be picked on by Ragnarok.

Ragnarok would be removed because it relates to black blood, and black blood, in our book, doesn't exist.

The Clown would be replaced with a somewhat friendly bunny, because the Clown will scare little kids.

Crona's name would be changed to May, because "Crona" doesn't indicate any gender.

The Kishin would be changed to "The Ultimate Evil Guy", because it is Japanese and it means demon.

Witches are changed to Nobodies.

The ending themes will be deleted and the opening songs would be replaced with our new and improved versions!

Shinigami- sama's name would be changed to Mr. Agape.

Soul Resonance would be changed to Friendship Resonance.

Death City would be changed to Friendship Lane, because Death City have the word "death" in it.

Maka will be kind and loving to her dad Death Scythe (Spirit).

Medusa won't be abusive to her daughter Crona (May).

On a second thought, Medusa would be removed, because she made Crona (May) kill a cute bunny.

Sid would be deleted, because he is a zombie, and zombies scare little kids.

All skulls would be replaced with hearts, like Shinigami-sama's (Mr. Agape's) mask, skulls on DWMA/ Shibusen (FGO) school building, the skull on Death (Happy) the Kid's suit, and skulls on various street signs.

The time where Crona (May) first appeared and killed everyone at the church will be deleted, because is contains death, violence, and contains a place of worship for a particular religious belief.

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These are all the edits I can think of for now. If you any ideas for edits please PM me and I will make an additional chapter for it. I might have misspelled some names, if I did, please tell me.

Reviews are way better than 4Kids, so please review this chapter! (I will take any type of criticism)


	2. Chapter 2: More Edits!

I came up with some more edits! Thank you for all of those nice reviews, I'm so pleased! Happy the Kid is pleased too! Don't worry the edited version of the first chapter is up too.

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER MAKES AMERICA SOUNDS SUPERIOR AND CONTAINS A RACIST SENTENCE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

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After a long talk with our coworkers, we decided to make it more American.

Since Shinigami-sama says phases such as "Yo!" and "Sup!" we will give him a Brooklyn accent to make him more American.

We just decided the 80% of our characters would have Brooklyn accents.

Little Demon would be removed, because demons scares little kids.

Maka's name sounds too Japanese; therefore her name would be changed to Dawn.

We just figured out that Black Star isn't a real name, so his name would be changed to Ash Ketchum.

All alcohol would be replaced with Juicy Juice.

You know what; we're too cool for Juicy Juice, so all alcohol now would be replaced with generic juice boxes. Death Scythe (Spirit) will always have a juice box in his hands to drink.

All blood would be replaced with HEARTS!!!

All black people will turned into white people, because we want to teach kids that in the real world only white people exist.

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That is all I have for now. The next chapter will have the theme song, isn't so exciting! If you can contribute to the song please PM me. The main focus in the theme song is friendship!

Reviews are way better than 4kids, so please take some time out to give a review.


	3. A message from Mr4Kids and a edit

Once again, thank you for those wonderful reviews you have given this story; I'm so impressed of myself! Now here is a message from Mr.4Kids himself…

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Due to a tight budget, we are going to use some of our old random brainwashing happy, no lyric theme song! Heh, heh, heh, heh.

-Mr.4Kids

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Sorry for keeping your hopes up. I'm pretty lazy you know…

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More Edits!

Since Liz and Patty wear cow girl hats, they will have southern accents and say phrases like "Yee haw!"

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This is it now; next chapter would be probably the last chapter.

Reviews are over 9,000 better than 4Kids, so please take some time out to make a review.

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P.S: This is really a poorly written chapter.


	4. Updatewill be replaced soon

Sorry I hadn't updated in a while. There was so much things going on at school that took

majority of my time. Some time this weekend or after school ends, I going to post a chapter.

-edward elric fan XD


	5. Episode one: The beginning

Sorry for the long leave of absence. I had so many things to at school and studying for tests, I couldn't type anything. But now I'm back with the first episode of the 4Kids version of Soul Eater. Feel free to look back at the previous chapters for the whole list of edits. Thank you for all the nice and funny reviews. Enjoy!

Key: ()= my comments _italics=_ thoughts '_italics'=_ classroom name""= people talking

[Insert random, brainwashing theme song]

Everyone was happy as usual at the Friendship Organization main campus. The main campus building was huge with giant hearts all over on the building. Fortunately today was the start of the new semester.

"I have two friends now!" said the very egotistical blue hair boy named Ash Ketchum. "I am better than I was before, because I use to have only one friend!"

"Wow, you befriend another person, that's so amazing!" said Happy the Kid as he passed by. He wore a fancy dress suit with a heart for a tie. "In my point of view, everything must have friendship in order for it to exist, for people without friendship in their heart, it is our duty to erase the darkness in their hearts and become their friends. That is how I have 20 friends! "said Happy the Kid in his usual happy tone.

In the meanwhile, Amy was walking down the hallway with her father Spirit. "I love you daddy so much!" said Amy wearing a typical school girl uniform."I love you too my little Amy" said Spirit after he took a sip of his favorite juice box brand "Juice". He wore a professional working suit. "I have to leave now, because I'm Ar. Agape's assistant. I wouldn't be a good role model if I came late to work."

And so, Spirit went his way to Mr. Agape's room to complete his duties. Amy walked by where Happy the Kid and Ash was in the middle of boasting about how many friends they have and how they became friends with the person.

"…. I gave him a big hug and that's how I became friends with him!" Ash said as he finished explaining how he befriends another person.

"Come on how, you know your assistant Misty helped you," said Amy.

"Hey, Maka, how many friends do you have now?" questioned Happy the Kid.

"I befriend 99 people; if befriend a nobody, my assistant, Soul, will become a super assistant!" she said in a happy tone.

"Hey guys!" said Soul, Misty, Liz, and Patty. Soul was acting cool and was wearing clothes the he deem as cool looking and was smiling with his straight teeth (4Kids changed his teeth because it would scare kids). Misty was wearing a gray concealed dress (Same thing she wears in the anime/manga, but covers up her chest area). Liz and Patty was wearing red shirts, grayish pants, and a hat (imagine them having southern accents).

"You're late assistants! If we don't hurry up, we will be late for class!" exclaimed Amy. Amy was extremely worried about her perfect attendance was going to messed up by a bunch of goofballs.

So, they all dashed to '_Doctor Franken Stein's Friendship 101'_ class. Luckily they came two minutes before the tardy bell. Amy had a breath of relief. _That was close_, said Amy in her mind.While Dr. stein was talking about how to be loyal to the friends they make, Soul and Ash was making and throwing paper airplanes. Misty was somewhat paying attention, but was distracted by a shiny object (a 'OMG shiny' moment). Liz was worrying about getting her nail messed up. Patty was making a dog out of notebook paper. Happy the kid was being frustrated about friendship. Out of the whole entourage, Amy, being a good student, was listening and taking notes. After being in there for around forty-five minutes, the lunch bell rang and everyone exit the room. As Amy and Soul just walked out of class, Spirit came to them.

"Mr. Agape will like to see you in his office now little pumpkins!" he said in a cheerful way.

While Amy was holding hands with her father (this is disturbing…) on the way to Mr. Agape's office, Soul was disturbed by Amy and Spirit's behavior (I would be disturbed too...). They finally reached Mr. Agape's room which was a big room with a big mirror. Spirit huffed on the mirror to make it fog. Using his finger, he wrote: 5-6-8-3 (L-O-V-E). Suddenly a black squiggly figure with a heart for a mask appeared. It was Mr. Agape.

To be continued…

How do you like it so far? Do you think I did a good job in making it 4Kids-ed? Submit your reactions in reviews and PM me. If you have any questions, ask it in reviews and PM me.

-edward elric fan XD


	6. Episode two: Gotta Have Lame Jokes

Hello fellow people! Sorry for this really long update. Guess what? This story finally has a flame! You might be thinking, "Why is this woman is so happy about a flame?" flames to me give me more encouragement in what I do, because they're just haters :P. Beside the point, let's get ready for another crazy and stupid second episode of the 4Kids version of Soul Eater!

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Key

_Thoughts_

"Talking"

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[Insert the brainwashing theme song]

We'll start of where we had left off at….

"Yo kids! What's up now!" said Mr. Agape with a Brooklyn accent.

"Hi Mr. Agape!" Soul and Amy responded.

"The reason I called you here, because there was a nobody spotted here in Happy City, so I just wanted to know if you would like to help."

"Of course we would like to help Mr. Agape. We must become friends with that nobody so Soul can finally become a super assistant!" said Amy.

"Okay then, I hope you will do well on your mission! It is people like you that will help make this world a friendlier place." said Mr. Agape with his typical happy Brooklyn accent.

Soul, Amy, and the rest of the gang went through the whole school fine, except Ash. Ash as usual with his big ego, was bragging about himself and pulling pranks on the teachers, which almost got him in trouble with Mr. Agape.

It was only 10 minutes before Friendship Giver Organization end classes for the day, so Spirit, who is for some reason standing outside, was thinking about some ideas for some jokes so Amy will think he's cool. "I need to make to make a joke that like my little Amy will like! I need my Juice box!" Spirit looked inside of his briefcase for unlimited supply of his favorite juice box brand "Juice". He drank about ten of those and started the thinking process. (4Kids sneaky way putting in bad puns). After six minutes of thinking, he came up with three bad puns, I mean, good jokes for Amy. At the same time, the organization classes had ended for the day.

"I can't believe I made a F+ on the test today. I did better than I was before, because I used to make a F- on my test!" boasted the usual egotistical Ash Ketchum.

"Lucky for you Ash, I didn't make the world any more friendlier today," said Happy the Kid as he started to sob.

"Happy, please don't cry. If you cry, your name won't be "Happy the Kid" it would be "Sad the Kid"," said Patty trying to make Happy the Kid feel better.

"Hey Amy, do you want to ride my brand new motorcycle?" asked Soul.

"No thanks, Daddy is going to walk with us to our apartment today. Daddy also said that motorcycles is not safe for little kids," said Amy.

"Your Father is creeping me out now. Tell your father to kick some rocks or take a hike, because one, we're not little kids anymore and two, he is really getting on my nerves!"

The two stepped outside without saying anything to each other. Spirit greeted them and gave Amy a hug. _Gross_ , said Soul in his mind.

"I love you Amy."

"I love you too Daddy!"

Soul just looked at the two and rolled his eyes. Then the tree of them started to walk.

"Amy, earlier I made three good jokes (bad puns) just for you!"

"Really! Can you tell them to me?"

"Of course I will, that's why I made them for you."

_Oh no_, said Soul in his mind. Spirit cleared his throat and started tell his so-called good jokes to the poor teenagers.

"What car sings a tune?"

"I don't know," said Amy after thinking (?) about it for a couple of seconds.

"Ha ha ha! That was so funny!"

_That joke was so lame like I don't know what_, said Soul in his mind. Spirit started to tell his second joke.

"What do you call a book without its spine? Spineless!"

"That was another funny one Daddy!"

"This is my last one. Why was the green apple jealous of the red apple? Because the green apple was green with envy!"

"That was the best joke ever!"

_I think I heard that joke before. He must have stole it from juice box cartons that he is always drinking_, said Soul in his mind. For some reason, both Amy and Spirit are still laughing the last joke. Finally Soul and Amy reached their apartment and Spirit ego got bigger, but not as big as Ash's ego.

- To be continued….

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I just realized that I just made Amy sound and act so retarded. Oh well, that's what 4Kids does anyways. As an added bonus here is a letter that a kid send a letter to 4Kids about Soul Eater.

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A random reaction from a nine year old who have been brainwashed by 4Kids.

OMG! This is the best thing ever on TV! I love all of the jokes, because they where funny! My favorite character is Spirit because he is the one who make all of those jokes. I hate Soul because he just doesn't appreciate good humor. Mr. Agape voices sounds so funny! I love you 4Kids!

Sincerely,

Bob

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Ha ha ha, reviews are over 9,000 time better than 4Kids, so please take the time out and review.


	7. Sorry

Hello folks! I know I'm being a bad person, especially to my fans who is waiting for the next 4kids version of Naruto. So to keep you all entertained (for like 4 minutes), here is the link to my newest blog post: ( edwardelicfandx [dot] wordpress [dot]com) . Maybe after reading this, you might, but mostly will, hate 4Kids more than you already do.

See you in the next update

-edwardelricfanXD


	8. Episode three:The Nobody, not the KH one

I haven't done a chapter so long -_-…. First is high school with tons of all homework and projects. Then I got a new computer to replace my sucky 8 year old computer. I still remember you all. I have updated my profile and stuff. So yeah I hope you all will enjoy this fanfic more since I finally updated it .

Key: ()=my comments, _italics=_ thoughts, '_italics'=_ classroom name, ""= people talking…

And if you don't understand the edits its ok, just look back in the first two chapters to refresh yourselves.

**Disclamer: I don't own anything even 4Kids. If I did, I would license kids anime rather than not-really-for-kids-shounen- anime.**

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**We now start where we left off when Soul and Amy just reached their apartment after Spirit dropped them off after his great comedy routine (sarcasm) on the way there.**

"I wish your father would go away and leave us alone. I don't like being treated like a little kid you know, because it is not considered cool," said Soul.

"The only reason why you think it is so weird, because your family got kidnapped and no one could ever find them till this day," replied Amy.

"Yeah whatever. But I still think your father is a little immature for a typical adult."

Amy changed the subject. "Man I'm starving from all of that training after lunch!"

Soul's stomach started to growl. "Yeah let's do that."

Amy and Soul was deciding what to eat for dinner. They end up preparing the ingredients to make some home-style Mac n' Cheese (if that's American enough). Once it was done baking, both ate it pleasantly without talking still. After eating the food, they both read the information in the envelope about the nobody.

Amy smiles, "I can't believe it Soul! If we befriend this nobody, you will become a super assistant!"

Soul smiles back at her with confidence. Now he can finally gain Sprit's trust with is daughter. Amy and Soul left the apartment and walk towards Soul's motorcycle.

"Don't forget to put on your helmet. Did you remember what happened the last time when you didn't put yours on? " cautioned Amy. (Uhh is this slowly turning into some type of bike safety video right now)

"Yeah, whatever, but please don't turn into your annoying dad on me, all right?" replied Soul sounding really annoyed.

Soul mumbled some words as he put on his helmet and drives off. Along the way, they drove in silence so they could concentrate on sensing the nobody. Amy then tapped Soul on his shoulder and said, "I sense some negative energy and it's very strong." Soul halts his motorcycle to a stop.

_This is my only chance now, so really can't mess this one up now_, Soul said in his thoughts.

Right away, a woman jumped down from one of the buildings. She was wearing a medium length dress and a typical nobody (witch) hat, the hair was long and purple with spiral curls in the front, and yellow eyes like a cat. (To better picture this, think Blair's usual costume but slightly longer and more concealing)

"It's her! She is the nobody we are looking for!" Soul pointed out.

Amy had her serious game face on and shouted, "Soul, change into wand mode!" Just as Soul began to shape shift, the nobody gave Soul a bear hug.

"I can't believe I get to finally see the cutest guy in Friendship Lane!" She then let go of him. "Oh my, where are my manners? My name is Blair and it's a pleasure to meet you!"

Amy just stares at Blair in shock. "Amy! Why you just standing there? She getting away!" exclaimed Soul as he points towards the runaway nobody. Amy face palm herself. "We totally fail this time. We can always try again tomorrow since we have three days to complete the mission anyways."

"But we still have to report our progress with Mr. Agape tomorrow though. I can already tell you that he would be very disappointed in us, since he has so much high expectations of us."

**To be continued…**

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Well that's all for now guys! I hope you really like it. So far Soul's the only normal person in this whole fanfic XD. I totally can't wait to write the next chapter, since it's all about censors and stuff like that. I'm also starting to think that you all hate me now because of this. But it's just a what-if series to test how bad it be if 4Kids own this anime and not Funimation.

So until then, don't forget that reviews are over 9,000 times better that 4Kids!


	9. Episode Four: What I Don't Even

Hello, I'm back again because of the exams are coming up next week and I need to prepare for it. That is why I updating this early. I have to thank you for all the nice and supporting reviews you have been giving me all throughout this fanfic. I really appreciate it you know. Oh yeah I added my Formspring on my profile if you want ask me any random questions too.

Key: ()=my comments, _italics=_ thoughts, '_italics'=_ classroom name, ""= people talking…

And if you don't understand the edits its ok, just look back in the first two chapters to refresh yourselves.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything even 4Kids. If I did, I would license kids anime rather than not-really-for-kids-shounen- anime.**

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**We will now start where we left off when Amy and Soul failed to befriend the nobody and decided to report to Mr. Agape's office about their progress.**

_The next day in Mr. Agape office…._

"You are telling me that you let that potentially dangerous nobody run away!" yelled Mr. Agape with his voice filled with rage. (Try to imagine someone with a Brooklyn accent getting angry and it would sound a whole lot funnier)

Amy and Soul held down their heads in shame. "I didn't know what had happened," Soul tried to explain, "One minute I was standing there then the next minute the nobody, named Blair, gave me a huge bear hug."

"I really expected a lot from you two," said Happy the Kid, "You should strive harder to make more friends like me. It's your job to help spread happiness to the whole world!" Soul rolled his eyes.

"I can't believe I'm actually letting you work with my daughter you know," Sprit said as he walked inside the office, "My little Amy have always tried to be the best in her class and in everything she does, and I'm not letting some depressing runt change that!"

Amy started to feel tears running down her face. "Please Daddy, don't say that to him! Soul is trying his best to be a good friend to me and-"

She was cut off when Mr. Agape gave her, Soul, and Sprit a friendship pat (It's something like Shinigami Chop but way less violent) "OW!" they all said in unison. (Huh? How can they say 'OW' when it's only a pat?)

"Amy and Soul, I want you befriend the nobody, Blair, by tomorrow before the main classes starts. Or else, you will be certainly punished," Mr. Agape commanded.

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_Later that day at around nighttime._

"Ok Soul, so far I'm sensing that nobody's energy!" shouted Amy as she ran down the street along with Soul. They ran a little bit more until they reach a house. Amy and Soul began to feel nervous because of the nobody's energy that was coming from the house. "She is probably hiding in here," said Soul.

"Maybe we should plan out what we should do before act, Soul."

"This is becoming a pain you know. After running around for hours trying to find this nobody you want us sit out here and make a plan! It's getting pretty late now and I'm getting tired!" said Soul. He then started to climb up the tree that leads to one of the windows.

"Soul, don't climb on the tree. What if you get hurt?" Soul never responds back to Amy.

After a minute of climbing, Soul finally reaches the window. He then he jump towards the window with lots of force. _Oh yeah, finally go in here! What is that her? Oh no! _Soul said in mind. "WAHHHHHHHH!" screamed Soul. When Soul opened his eyes, he saw that he was sitting in chair with a fancy looking table with tea cups, a tea pot, and some tasty snacks. Blair was sitting across from him wearing the same clothes she usually wears. For some reason hearts started to come out of his nose. (Yeah that's right instead of a regular nosebleed; he had a 'heart nosebleed')

Amy then burst through one of the doors. "Soul try to snap out of it! She is trying hurt in a very wrong way!" Soul slowly walks towards Amy and once he reached her, she gave him the 'look' "Transform!" Soul shouted as changed in his 'Friendship stick form'. (Don't worry I'm not turning this into a Transformers cartoon/movie)

Amy tries shooting a beam of light towards the nobody, but Blair keeps on dodging her attacks. "Um Soul, what should we in order to beat her?" Amy asked. "Oh I thought you already had a plan, 'Ms. I Going to Do Everything Right'. The only advice I could give you is don't play by the rules." _Don't play by the rules? I can try that, _said Amy in her mind.

Amy scanned all over the room for something that would distract the nobody. She ran over and grabbed one stuffed teddy bear from a box and squeezed its neck.

"Don't do that to Mr. Fluffy II! You are really a mean person!" Blair said as she started to cry. At that very moment, Amy shot a beam of light towards the nobody. For some reason Blair disappeared. Soul transforms back into his human self.

"Amy for some reason I feel this power surging through me." A pink glow was surrounding him and eventually almost consuming him. "Wow Soul, you're becoming a super assistant!" Suddenly a pink glow was replaced with a black cloud of smoke. "Huh?" both of them said in unison. "How could this be possible? We befriended the nobody right? Then how could this have happen?" Soul said in shock.

"Meow."

"Huh what was that sound? It sounds like a cat," said Amy stating the obvious. A cat wearing a hat like the one that Blair wears, walks towards Amy and Soul.

"You know I actually a nobody I'm part cat as well, meow." Blair said.

"NOOOOOOO!" shouted Soul "That means we have to start all over again since we messed up! Now all of that hard work was for nothing."

To be continued…

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So the plot finally progressed for once. So many edits in this scene/chapter you know. Oh yeah there is small reference to Kingdom Hearts with Amy/ Maka using the power of light and stuff. (Don't worry I'm not turning this into Kingdom Hearts either) I don't have anything much to say now, so I guess I should stop talking/ typing now…

Don't forget that reviews are over 9,000 times better that 4Kids!

PS: Please don't die because of me/ this fanfic. One funeral is enough for a lifetime.


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